so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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