It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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