and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
