There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
