Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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