he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
