So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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