you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
