and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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