i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
