Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
