Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
