Hey man sorry I got all grabby
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
