i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
