you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
