i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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