Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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