He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
