Buhtt sex?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
