Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
