you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
