We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
