I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
