Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
