So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
