And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Randomize
