we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
