You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
