I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
