her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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