Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
