like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
