Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
