oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
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We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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