Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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