Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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