i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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