I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
