I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
