i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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