I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
