Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
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He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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