I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so let's talk penis.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
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She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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