did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
