I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
