If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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