Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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