I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I AM VODKA MAN
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
