Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
