There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
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I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
God I need to hump something, right now.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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