glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
