you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
