worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
