Non-Jews are for practice
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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