what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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