I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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