Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
