i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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