pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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